In Bible study this week we talked about forgiveness. What was amazing is that all of us ended up talking about different people that have hurt us. There were occasional stories of forgiveness and reconciliation; but there were definitely more stories of ongoing pain, hopelessness, fear, and anger; feelings they could not get rid of because no forgiveness had taken place.
We have all been betrayed, lied to, ignored, or victimized. Some people deal with the pain by pushing it down to the depths of their soul, where it can be avoided. Sometimes we blame ourselves. We might think, “That person didn’t really mean to hurt me” or “I’m making a bigger deal out of it than I should” or “I should just get over it.” We move on without reconciliation; we hope the pain will go away. Other people cannot ignore the pain because it is too overwhelming. Sometimes it even shows up on their bodies – as bruises from abuse or side-effects from illness. Or, the pain becomes a mental barrier. We just cannot take one step forward because the pain has us pinned down to the ground. In these cases we cannot move on without reconciliation.
In Matthew 18:21 Peter asks, “How many times must I forgive my brother who sins against me? As many as seven times?” Seven times is a good guess. We can assume that Peter thinks his answer will receive a pat on the back from Jesus because he knows Jesus is big on forgiveness. To suggest that someone should forgive up to seven times? Well, that’s quite a generous number. I love Jesus’ response, “Peter, you’re not even close. You should forgive seventy times seven.” In other words, “don’t even try to keep count.”
Jesus’ emphasis on forgiveness should not come as a surprise. After all, the Hebrew scriptures which he studied are full of announcements of God’s forgiveness. Throughout its two thousand year existence, the Christian church has struggled to embrace the message of forgiveness in the Old Testament. But once we open up its pages we find beautiful texts like Psalm 103 which says. “God is full of compassion and mercy; God does not punish us even though we deserve it; In fact, God treats our sins as though they are as far away from us as the east is from the west.”
And here’s the overarching theme – God has not limited the forgiveness which God shows us; therefore we are not to limit the forgiveness we show other people.
To emphasize this point Jesus tells a parable. A servant owes his king an outrageous amount of money – a debt which is impossible to repay. The king offers one solution – selling the man, along with his wife and children, into slavery and taking all his possessions. This was not uncommon practice and is arguably better than the alternative – the death penalty. The servant begs for more time to repay and the king ends up forgiving the unpayable debt. The servant uses his newfound freedom to go to a fellow servant and unmercilessly collect a measly sum of money from him. For failing to forgive as he had been forgiven the king hands the servant over to be tortured until his original debt would be repaid.
And what is the moral of the story? Well, verse 35 says, If you don’t forgive others as you’ve been forgiven, God will hand you over to be tortured. Yikes!
Now, what we need to remember is that parables are ways of speaking about God by using words, concepts and illustrations which people encountered in their daily lives. Since God transcends our worldly words, concepts, and illustrations, parables always fall short of providing adequate explanations.
The shortcomings in this parable are blatant and could be dangerous if not addressed. In the first section of scripture Jesus commands us to forgive countless times because God forgives us countless times. However, the parable speaks of a king who forgives only once; a king who offers forgiveness only after it is asked for. It also speaks of a king who revokes his forgiveness based on the plea of other people. God’s forgiveness is not limited; God does not wait for us to ask for forgiveness; and God certainly would not revoke the forgiveness. This much is explained elsewhere in Matthew and repeatedly throughout scripture.
In this parable Matthew is using words, concepts and illustrations from the context of the Roman Empire. God’s kingdom is so radically different than the
Fortunately Matthew has provided us with a narrative which does effectively communicate the importance of forgiveness – the cross! The debt we have amassed as sinful beings is incalculable. This is the debt which Jesus paid on the cross. Jesus has forgiven our debts without calculation or reservation; and we didn’t even ask for it. The lesson is that we are to forgive with the same enthusiasm. We are to forgive others even when we know they are wrong.
When you think about it, there really is no other option than forgiveness. What other options would there be? Revenge? Is that really an option? Have you ever gotten revenge and felt good about yourself? Ignoring the situation never works either. We can tell ourselves to ignore something or someone, but the pain always comes back. Forgiveness is the only option because it is the only way we can truly be free. Jesus has forgiven us and we are free. With freedom comes power. Will we use our power to oppress people, or to spread freedom throughout the world?
The most poignant question which I heard in Bible study this week was: “How do I know when I have really forgiven someone?” What does forgiveness look like? The best answer I have heard is that forgiveness means wishing someone well. When I forgive someone I have to hope that good comes their way. Forgiveness is not always forgetting. Forgiveness is certainly not disregarding consequences. Forgiveness does not mean that we risk our safety by allowing poisonous people to have their way with us. Forgiveness is always a positive force. Forgiveness is a way of living that preserves the life of you and you neighbors.
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